I’ll be the first to admit there’s a gimmick to the idea of Pride lasting an entire month when Memorial Day only lasts for one day, However, there are reasons why the month exists rooted in historic discrimination by the government and anecdotal abuses from evangelical figures against members of their own families for simply being freed from the constraints of hyper-zealous religiosity. One can look at the relationship that former Congresswoman Vicky Hartzler has with her nephew Andrew Hartzler and see an awkward family relationship assuming that relations even exist given her meltdown on the house floor over (gasp!) the recognition of one state’s marriage officiation of two same-sex couples to another. This leads the conversation to Eagle, Idaho where the owner of the Old State Saloon, Mark Fitzpatrick, has attempted to label his bar the “heterosexual headquarters” offering discounts to heterosexuals up to 15% of their bar bill. The opportunity for abuse of this policy is ripe if I have ever seen one this flagrant.
To underscore what I mean, LGBT people make up at most no more than 4-5% of the population nationally with most who are identifying as such not likely to come into a bar that overtly has to advertise “Heterosexual Awareness Month” to feel pride in their own sexuality. This means that a supermajority, at minimum, of the people coming into his bar are probably going to be straight which means that the 15% off benefit is going to be abused substantially. What is hilarious is that Fitzgerald attempts to label homosexuality as invasive, ungodly, and devoid of morals without the courage to say it directly, and yet he engages in the selling of alcoholic spirits in the hopes of getting returning clientele who may suffer from addiction problems. If he really took his theological principles of morality to such draconian extents that he would condemn homosexuality for immorality, potentially giving alcohol to someone who can’t handle their liquor that eventually leads to a motor accident is unironically worse. Then again, this is cherrypicked morality based on what can make his bar popular in his deep red Idaho town knowing fully well that it isn’t how the general pulse of the country is going.
It’s also ironic that he suggests that “Everybody is welcome to come here and help us and celebrate.” He obviously doesn’t mean the gays who are likely content to boycott the Western-looking bar in favor of high-end locations with their allegedly promiscuous ways and graduate degrees, but I offer this proposition in response to the sentence above: you could say you’re straight and get the discount while wearing a rainbow tank top in the middle of a crowded room of sexually frustrated men. How are they supposed to delineate your gayness from just eccentric fashion choices? Are they going to measure the glucose in your blood system to make sure there’s no overabundance of sugar? If they do that, that seems a bit dramatic for people who said they would welcome “everybody” and whose sexuality seems to be cemented in keeping the most entertaining people in the room out.
Nevertheless, I could have gone the route of relitigating the entirety of abuses leveled against the gay community including the Lavender Scare, the military’s discriminatory treatment of gays, sodomy laws, comparisons to bestiality and pedophilia, and other hurtful examples of ignorant people propagating needless harm against a fraction of the population. However, it’s been a good week and I feel the need to exert more sass than crass when making my general criticisms of a bar policy allegedly rooted in morality promoting cheaper liquor when the best religious adherence for these tried-and-true Christians would be not drinking at all. Nevertheless, Fitzgerald has to pay the bills, he has to make the clickbait, and so he has to invoke his inner cringe and my mating call to a 15% off pina colada.
Andrew Hartzler Wasn’t Allowed To Be Gay on Campus. So He’s Suing. – POLITICO
The Conservatarian Millennial 